Wednesday, January 19, 2011
So tonight there were 2 children practicing their instruments--trumpet and alto sax--simultaneously. There was one child singing at the top of his lungs a song from the 80s (not sure how he even KNOWS that song) and the song was definitely on repeat....over and over and over. (We DO have a guiding principle in our home--most people like a song one time and then if you must, sing it again, but after that, please stop.) Not today though. I only post this to back up my first post to let you know that in my organized chaos there are moments that are more chaos than organized. But as I sit and listen, I am perfectly ok with it. It actually brings me great joy. The reason it brings me joy is because I have 7 children who love each other, love me and are happy, safe and secure--and if you know my adopted boys, that means we have come a LONG way! And in the craziness, God has given me a fulfillment that is indescribable because the moments are from Him-- and even though, like today, they are outside of my nice quiet controlled environment, I am smiling.
Monday, January 03, 2011
So I haven't blogged on this site for quite some time. I decided to change it up a bit and post some thoughts as a new year has snuck up on me. I have lots of people asking me how life has changed for the Spansel family. Well the obvious is that we have now lived in Ohio for almost 3 years! We love it! We love the seasons, we love our church body, we love that we can jump on the freeway without traffic, we love our schools and we love the budding relationships that God has brought in the form of friends. We have watched our children grow from little 11, 10, 9, 8, 6, 6 and 4 year olds when we moved to now 14, 12, 11, 10, 9, 8 and 6 today. And we are going to celebrate our Varney and James 5th adoption day in April! It's amazing to me how time has flown by. I can say that my heart is at quite a different state these days. What a joy to see all that God has taught me in the last few years and to be able to say with confidence that God has done a great work in me and although it has stung at times, I am full of joy. I find such sweet peace in looking back at the dark times of a few years ago and thank God for it. I didn't know which end was up, didn't know how to be a mom to 7 children and learn to love so dearly my boys who needed so very much of me. I sought control around every corner and only found chaos. My husband says that I laugh more these days--at myself and at and with my children. I think I can laugh more because I have found joy in the chaos! ("Controlled and organized chaos" is how I like to explain it to people!) God has taken a very organized/neat and tidy and slightly OCD ME and conformed me--because really, all the time, I have been a complete mess inside...seeking perfection to prove to all that I really am superwoman, when in actuality, I am not. On this day and every day, I can't even express how very content I am with being the woman that God has called me to be. I love to shepherd the hearts of my children first and foremost and teach them what it means to love God more than any other thing. And I love being a partner in this journey with my husband. I think we make a pretty great team! I look forward to this year 2011. I turn 40 this year. So does my amazing partner. I welcome it though. Here's to whatever God has in store, proclaiming 2 Corinthians 1:10, "On HIM we have set our hope!" I have set my mind on the words of John 14 often (paraphrased)- "
"Because He loves you and because He is so kind,
He promises to never leave you alone.
You aren't an orphan searching through the world for a Father who will love, protect and provide for you.
Even though you don't see His physical body,
He has given you His Spirit to comfort you,
and He'll give you all the assurance and truth that you need."